Friday, 24 July 2015

JUST WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE ANYWAY?


So after much umm-ing and ahh-ing and telling my friends that "I'm 100% going to start blogging again", I've decided to stop blowing hot air and actually get on with it. However, though the URL may still be the same, things are gonna start looking a little different around here.

Why? Well, for the past few months I've been languishing in a twenty-something head funk that I'm sure many of you will recognise. Moving to Berlin, kicking off my freelancing "career" (ahaha!) and finally figuring out exactly what fabric conditioner is for has pushed me a little further into the Realm of the Grown-Up than I anticipated, and as a result my expectations regarding what the fuck I'm doing with my life have been a little higher.

So, I did what any average chump my age does - I looked to social media for my cues. Hours have been lost to Instagram, lusting over artfully chic Scandi lifestyles, endless pictures of cute mid-century dressers, people with really great hair, great jobs, great homes. Most of these people are younger than me, for Chrissakes! Let's see how my life measures up.

I'm 27 years old. Despite what Lifehack.com advises, I don't have a carefully designed work space for my freelance activities - for me, 'going to the office' means moving from bed to sofa and not bothering to put trousers on. On really bad days, I take my work to my other job, and hammer out product descriptions behind the counter when I'm not serving up cappuccinos. My breakfast rarely (read; NEVER) consists of homemade granola and seasonal fruit. Ten Oreos and a mug of coffee? Now we're talking. My weekends aren't spent browsing art galleries - they're spent in the Kneipe with a few glasses of Kolsch, or, if things are getting really wild, at Monster Ronson's Ichiban Karaoke with a carafe of wine and a booth full of drunk German men. Clearly, I'm not all that good at adulting.

The point is that, no matter how much I aspire to be a minimalist goddess in a well-designed apartment with a perfectly curated wardrobe and a solid grasp on what I intend on doing with the rest of my life, my basic instinct just keeps on kickin' in and shouting 'REJECT! ABORT! HELL NO!' It just ain't me.

So, rather than try to cram myself uncomfortably into this cookie-cutter 'authentic lifestyle' mold that is being sold to millenial females, I'm going to do the exact opposite. Don't get me wrong, I will never get bored of browsing boho-minimal interiors and polka dot dresses on Pinterest, and there will be an element of smug self-improvement along the way as I try to adopt a more vegan, more ethical lifestyle. But at it's core, I want to write a blog for all the other technically grown women who really feel like they should have it all sorted now, but can't quite let go of that knobby inner 19 year old telling them to go out and spend their food budget on vino tinto and club entry.

Because there's nothing wrong with having a half-decorated apartment, or a wardrobe that consists mainly of shit you found on the street, or preferring a beer at the beach bar to bikram sodding yoga.

Now, in the words of the Immortal God Mike Skinner, let's push things forward.

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